The Cost of Being an Open Book

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

Mark Twain

”Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”Screen Shot 2015-09-06 at 10.32.17 AM

James E. Faust

A half-truth is a whole lie.”

—Yiddish proverb

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”

—Robert Louis Stevenson

I’ve always lived my life out loud, an open book, oversharing at nearly every opportunity. I think because the quotes I’ve listed above are ones I’ve heard most of my life or at least some version of them. I’m also a chatterbox, as anyone who knows me in real life is aware. I’ve embraced the idea of honesty and openness perhaps a little too much.

I think it is important to be truthful and to share one’s story. I believe that by sharing our own struggles we give others courage and lend them strength. However, where does one draw the line between being open and oversharing? I’m trying to figure that one out.  You see, there is a cost to oversharing, of living your life as an open book. When you share every thought, feeling, experience or slight someone has caused you, the people in your life know this, hold on to this, and are slower to forgive than you are.

Personally I am famous for talking myself into and out of things on a regular basis. I flip-flop which means I could never be a politician, or could I? I take the people in my life on my crazy, twisted journeys as I figure out what it is I want. For example, if I am trying to talk myself into a situation, I’ll share only the good points about the situation whether it is a purchase, a trip, a man, etc. Then, when my mind changes, people may be mystified when things seemed to be “so good.” In order to explain I now divulge all the misgivings, doubts, and red flags I had but failed to mention before. Sadly, if I change my mind (again), those I love are now skeptical. Or sometimes I feel I’ve boxed myself in a corner and have nowhere to go because if I choose this path, after sharing all the dark and dirty reasons why I was against it, well…

Granted, the opinions of others don’t stop me too much. They may slow me down a little, and only if the opinion is coming from someone I love and value. Still, I’m working to find a balance. To live a life that is true, authentic, and open but without the oversharing. Wish me luck! This is gonna be one heck of a task!

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