The Worst First Date

Several years back I went on the worst first date of my life. I’m very thankful to report that while some first dates have come close none of them have managed to top this disaster. I was newly single, having recently ended things with the man I thought I was going to marry. B was someone I had met while working at the mall. He worked at a cell phone kiosk and we’d chat/joke/tease when I went by to get coffee. There was an attraction but when I met this gentleman, I was in a relationship, a fact I was very open about.

A few months later, I’m single and B no longer works at the cell phone kiosk. I happened to run into him while he was shopping in the mall. It seemed like fate, that I definitely needed to go on a date with this guy. We exchanged numbers and agreed we would go out soon.

Our disastrous date was scheduled on a weekday evening, the meet up spot being a local chain coffeeshop. In his defense we did say we’d meet around 7-7:30pm. Of course I showed up early, probably around 6:45pm which is not on him. The place was packed! I went up and ordered my coffee and took the last available table.

As our meeting time approaches, B starts texting to say he is running behind, something about a Craigslist deal but he will be on his way soon. These texts come every so often, how he is almost on his way or that he is on his way, etc. Meanwhile I am feeling terribly uncomfortable at this packed coffeeshop, hogging a table, waiting on this guy.

As the time drags on and we’re now approaching 8pm, B isn’t there yet. However, as luck would have it, a cute doctor asks if he can share my table. He is studying before heading in for his shift. I thought perhaps the night wasn’t a total bust after all. The doctor and I chatted a bit and I gave him my number. Maybe he would have called had I not mentioned I was waiting on a date… Hindsight.

The doctor leaves, there is still no sign of B save for the text messages of he is almost there and I’m about to walk out. By now I think it was close to 9pm. That is when he enters but to my surprise, he is not alone. B walks in with a young couple in fast-food uniforms. He introduces me to them and then they quickly disappear. Where they went, I really have no idea. I suppose they sat outside in his car?

B sits down and I tell him that I’ve already finished my coffee but if he wants one, he should grab one. He looks around and notices that they have a “Now Hiring,” sign on the wall. He says to me, “Well shoot, I should see about a job.” I told him to do whatever he needed to do. B gets up, goes to the counter and returns a few minutes later sans coffee and application. I asked what happened and he said he was “too aggravated.”

Somehow we manage to start up some decent conversation. We sat there chatting for a while when he suddenly asks me if I want to go for a ride. I look at him in disbelief and ask where he is going. He tells me just down the road, he has to drop his friends back at work. I cannot believe what I am hearing. I ask, to clarify, “Wait, they’re here on break?” He tells me yes, as if it is not the strangest thing in the world. Regardless of where this ride was going, I wouldn’t have gotten into a car with a man I barely know. However I am ready to burst out laughing at his audacity. He shows up an hour and a half late, brings along two friends, who are on break and thinks I want to ride with him to take them back. I decline explaining that while he may have just gotten there, I had been there and I was done for the evening. I headed home. He tried to contact me a few times after that but I refused to give him another date. 2000px-Broken_heart.svg