Recently I turned 34 years old which has me thinking a lot. It’s odd, I didn’t have a hard time saying good-bye to my twenties. In fact it was more of a feeling of ‘good riddance,’ when it came to that. However, I’ve had an affinity with the number 33 my entire life so it was an age I looked forward to and dreaded leaving. It’s not just my birthday that has me thinking. It’s the holidays and the new year that has my mind in overdrive.
This time last year I was still nursing the wound left from losing my Uncle John. There was a lot of uncertainty in my life and stress. Despite all of that I felt stronger than I had in a very long time. I felt like I needed to be strong for him because he would be. It also forced me to start admitting to the poor choices I was making in regards to my own health. While I have a long ways to go I am working on eliminating or lessening the presence of chemicals in my life. I’ve faced one of my greatest fears and saw a GI doc which led to answers and now I’m learning to manage my conditions.
I started to feel a pressing need to get back to school. It was this unfinished project hanging over my head and I don’t like having anything hanging over me. Part of the reason I have not bothered with school is the annoyance of how long it will take to complete a degree. It’s funny where we find inspiration but I saw a quote online that said, “Don’t let the time it will take to complete a goal discourage you. The time will pass anyway.” It resonated deeply inside of me. At the last minute I managed to get into two classes this fall.
I have realized at this stage in my life I don’t feel old nor young. I just am. I am evolving and embracing and living, maybe for the first time ever. I am excited for 2015 and to have a blank slate. I know this year will be different for several reasons. Last night I went to a party for New Year’s, which I have never done in my life. My family has always taken the approach to stay home where it is safe and call each other at midnight kind of celebration. Granted I was home before midnight but still, I went out. I’ve also never, ever rung in New Year’s with a friend and one of my bestest ladies actually went to the party with me and then crashed at my house.
Today, I was up by 8:15 am which is rather early for me. These changes, however small are making me happy. I’ve also opted to give up Facebook for the year. All resolutions tend to be broken quickly so I’ll have to see how that one plays out. I have a few other resolutions in mind but none that I want to share. While the public acknowledgment could lead to a feeling of accountability it could also lead to a sense of failure if my life path takes me in other directions. Just because something sounds like a great plan doesn’t mean it is what I should be focusing on. Time will tell and trusting one’s gut and intuition are key.
So today, on this first day of 2015 I am wishing you all love, peace, and prosperity. Be blessed people.
*side note, my blog is set to automatically post to Facebook so I’m not cheating 🙂