The only constant in life is change and my life has experienced more than a few lately. I’ve not written because… Well, I didn’t know how to word things or what I wanted to address. It has been so much…
My Uncle John passed away December 2nd. He went back into the hospital back in November. During that time it was discovered he had a bleeding ulcer in his small intestine that was actually cancer, stage 4 to be exact. The hospital recommended hospice care and said there was nothing left to do. Uncle John said he was going to fight to the very end and fight he did. He was hospitalized for approximately two weeks. Got out before Thanksgiving and seemed to be improving. We were trying to get him into a local research hospital but it was too late.
He went back into the hospital the Friday after Thanksgiving and passed that Monday. It threw us all into a bit of a tailspin. Grief is a tricky bastard, as I have said before. Suddenly there were funeral arrangements to be made, potentially flying relatives in from out of state, notifying people of his passing, writing an obituary, etc. Of course, my job was amazing which was one less thing to stress about.
During this time, the boy (and he is a boy) that I wrote of from my past, The Marine had come back into my life. Things seemed to be going well until my Uncle’s health took a turn for the worse. Then the Marine bailed on me. Well, I’m sure in his mind his behavior was acceptable but for me, it was the last straw. I want a partner in my life, in good times AND in bad. When he couldn’t be there for me during such a dark time I knew that I had to cut him out of my life. I did attempt talking to him about things. It fell on deaf ears. So I did the only thing I could. Cut him out of my life for good. Deleted him from my phone, from social networking, blocked his number. I wish him well, I just can’t have him in my life. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t fair to either of us.
Despite these recent losses, I am feeling stronger than I have in a very long time. The family is sticking together and my friends have been a godsend. Things are coming along. Nowadays, I’m focused on all the goodness there is in this life. Yes, there is sadness, darkness, loss but there is also love, light, happiness, and laughter.
So as I wrap this up for today, I would like to leave with a thought of gratitude. I am thankful for a full belly that came from a lovely breakfast with my sister and my best friend. I am blessed to have the money to go out to eat and wonderful company to share a meal with. I am thankful to be able bodied and remove the snow from my driveway and sidewalks. I am thankful for the love of my dogs that is unwavering. Have a wonderful day people 🙂