Gray Sky Pondering

Well here I am, a gray but sunny day in Metro Detroit. My Uncle J is in the hospital yet again. My pups are spread out throughout the house sleeping, bundled up in blankets. I am soothed by the sounds of my washing machine. Soothed because it means I am being productive early in the day. It is my day off today and I have been awake since 7:45am. That is kind of huge for me. 

I have a mental list of things I’d maybe like to accomplish today. After the busyness of last weekend, with my cousin’s wedding and all, I am looking forward to hanging around my house for the most part. I’ve started tidying up too. I grabbed the ever growing stack of celebrity gossip magazines from the coffee table and put them on the half door to take out to the recycling bin. I’ve eaten some yogurt and drank my coffee. Today just feels… Good.

Yesterday morning or perhaps it was the day before I watched an inspiring video on facebook. (Where else do we get inspired nowadays, right?) It was some guy standing on an empty stage, talking about how amazing women are. He spoke to an empty auditorium. He spoke about how as women, we are a gift from God and we are worthy and loved. It was a three minute piece and it spoke to me. Reminding me, yet again that all the negative self talk is damning. Here is the link if anyone wants to watch it. 

Thanks to this newfound hope I’m trying to not allow myself any negative self thoughts. When I am getting dressed if I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I tell myself I am beautiful just the way I am. When I find myself about to binge on food out of boredom I have stopped myself and while it may sound crazy told myself, “Devil get out of my head. Quit trying to make me unhappy.” 

It isn’t news to me that thoughts become actions. That one’s inner dialogues sets the tone for our lives.  Sometimes though it is so easy to focus on the negative, to dwell on our insecurities, to magnify our failures to the point that we can’t see the good anymore. Or maybe that isn’t a “we” thing, maybe it is a “me” thing. I’m not depressed… Too much. I swear. Sometimes I am. Sometimes I am an optimist. Two sides of the same coin. 

Well as I feel I’ve rambled enough, I think I am gonna sweep and dust and other housekeeping type things. Happy Saturday!

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