12/12/12 rambling because i can

I’m a little bit exhausted and a lot a bit contemplative, which personally, makes the best combination. I had three days off from work in a row which should lead a person to being well rested, or least being exhausted from an amazing weekend. Instead my plans all fell apart. Mostly. My Friday evening plans were cancelled, tried making new plans, that didn’t work. Saturday, well I’ve already talked about that.  Most of my weekend was spent on the couch or in my bed, snuggled with the pups, and reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Which I am enjoying. I am also enjoying having a roommate. I force myself to be more productive, or stay up a bit later because there is someone else in the house with me.

Last night for example, I went out for dinner and drinks with friends. Then I came home and started on cleaning my room. The day before (Sunday), I had “cleaned” my room. If by clean you mean shove all the miscellaneous clutter into my closet, and pray as I jammed the doors closed. That was not my best plan ever. I wanted my room to look semi presentable when the family was over for dinner. Monday. Ha! No cleaning happened on Monday so Tuesday night it was. I tore everything out of my closet and started to sort and put things away right. Now I have an overflowing heap of laundry to contend with. Then things should be good again.

Sunday night was a slice of awesome. I got to spend time with some people that I truly adore. We drank wine, ate cheese, cheesecake, grapes, all sorts of treats. We talked and dissected life and relationships. We watched youtube videos and laughed until we couldn’t breathe. It was truly a wonderful night and much needed after all the self induced stress/anxiety I had been dealing with. It was a relief as well as inspiring. I never could have guessed at my life when I was younger. It is definitely not how I planned it at all but I’ve got to say it is pretty awesome. Though I’d rewrite a few scenes if I could…

Where does the contemplation come in? Oh yes! I was watching “Parenthood,” tonight which is one of my favorite shows. As I watched Christina battling a life threatening condition, watching Adam’s tears rolling down his cheeks, and seeing him pray in earnest, I wondered, why do we only pray when our lives are going to crap? Why don’t we pray daily? Why don’t we pray for the things we are thankful for? Why is it typically begging and pleading with God when things are a mess and no acknowledgement when they are great?

Now I’m not saying what God to pray to, or what to believe, or even how to pray. I’m just curious why we think its acceptable to behave this way? I certainly have my issues with religion and all sorts of questions. I am so thankful to my parents for bringing me up to have faith but instilling LOVE as the number one tenet. I was taught about God, given children’s Bibles that I read because I WANTED to, and though God and faith were beautiful. (I still do). We didn’t attend church which sometimes made me sad as a kid but most of the time I didn’t give it much thought. Only when my friends were not available for play dates because they had Catechism. It had me intrigued, I vaguely wondered why I didn’t have it, but shrugged it off and played Barbies instead. I am so thankful we DIDN’T go to church. I know a lot of people out there that will disagree with me with every ounce of their being. I’m happy for them. It is their privilege and right. The thing is, I think that people get so caught up in church and mob mentalities that they lost sight of the message. Seems to me that every major religion has the same basic principles. Do unto others as you’d have others do unto you. Love is the ultimate virtue. Patience. Acceptance. So what makes *my* way better than yours? And who is to say that another person’s belief is wrong? Last time I checked, I’m not that important or powerful.

I just don’t get people. Sometime I really don’t. It makes me sad when people put THEIR spiritual beliefs over the lives of others. I’m fairly certain they would not like to be told how to worship and whom to worship. So why does anyone think they have that right over anyone else?

See what I mean about exhausted and contemplative? My brain is a mess of thoughts. Which is not unusual. I’m just letting them spill out here tonight. Actually, on that note, I have some laundry to tangle with still. Good night world. Please, love one another.


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